Today’s killing of the classic vampire

By Alex King–Contributing Writer

Count Dracula crawls out of his coffin one evening, ready for yet another night of immoral, immortal bliss.  He pours himself a cup of blood and drinks it as he skims the tabloids for juicy stories.  Then, all of a sudden, he falls over dead, his hand still gripping the magazine, which is open to an article about Twilight’s New Moon.   News of the latest cinematic craze seems to have been a stake in his heart.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not your typical Twilight hater.  I’m just taking the initiative to go after the whole bloodsucking shebang—  meaning the mass influx of vampires into pop culture— and I believe my cause is noble.  What I hope is that others will follow my lead in preserving the life and integrity of the genre.

You can hardly walk into a book or movie store these days without a vampire trying to attack you.  However, instead of sucking the red from your neck, these vamps want the green in your wallet.  Herein is where the trouble begins, and where the genre is threatened.

In an effort to appeal to larger demographics, these timeless creatures have been transformed into minimal representations of what they once were.  The myth and horror has turned into fantasy and romance. The symbolism, meant to show the consequences of modernity, has become a fetish.  Being the opposite of Count Dracula, the first noteworthy vampire in the genre, these new vampires have become a shameful irony.

It would take the entirety of the commentary pages to list just how many knockoffs of Twilight clutter the bookshelves of Wal Mart.  It may just be me, but I find it sad when a knockoff of the vampire genre can generate so many knockoffs.  Even more depressing is the fact that people are obviously buying this poorly written smut at mass quantity.  If you don’t believe me, walk into that unholy compound called Wal Mart and see for yourself.

The CW even has a show now called The Vampire Diaries.  After seeing a commercial for it, I almost threw up a little.  Although it may have some differences, the fact is that it plays directly off Twilight’s success.  That leads me to wonder just how many terrible pop culture phenomena Stephenie Meyer’s franchise has paved the way for.

Personally, I fear those days of vampires feasting on the passengers of private planes (see The Night Flier) and savagely mutilating an entire village (see 30 Days of Night) are almost over.  The blood, sadly, has been watered down.

It’s not that I think you shouldn’t like what you like.  What irritates me is the ignorance many people have in regard to the OG Vampire, Count D-rizzle.  Like Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School, he gets no respect!  So as New Moon sweeps the world, I encourage all Twilight fans to at least read into the original pop culture vampire.  You can find him in Bram Stoker’s classic novel Dracula.

It’s ok to like Twilight, but please remember the blood-sucking fiend that spawned them all, and give credit where credit is due.  Because the only true way to kill a vampire is by forgetting it.

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